trying something new

after hitting a brickwall in my last post, i decided to start trying something else. as a friend of mine once said, “if you have to run into a brickwall, at least try and find a softer one”. so i am not going to go into uni everyday or even if i do, not work from my office. instead, i will try working somewhere else, maybe a public cafe or hopping from one library to the another in the city. i don’t quite fancy having to move around too much and use that as another distraction but just that i need to move on the moment things get stale. i cannot really slow down and delay my progress.

I also realised that I have been using the ‘big stick’ approach for too long now and instead of whipping myself constantly and chastisting myself for not moving along, I need to also find time to top-up. one way is to find little joys in life such as appreciating a sunny day and working where i can at least see the day. or something simple like these tulips that my flatmate brought home. it has been so long (years and years) since I had any cut flowers at home. they are so expensive but seeing them made me realise how much I miss having something nice in my surroundings.

while cut flowers cost money, treating myself to a nice long walk by the sea or even stealing some lone time in front of a piano is not.  i need some Tuck Time and some self nourishment. I need to refill and top up.

mental focus

The mind is incredibly powerful in helping shape how we perceive our world and our relationship with others within this world. Perhaps that is why taming it can be so difficult and according to some authors, requires a lot of mental training and buffeting.

Right now, I am struggling with the mind, trying very hard to keep it reined in to do what I need it to do, and that is to focus and write. But my efforts have not been very successful so far. There are moments of clarity and focus but otherwise it appears lazy and wandering. It almost seems that I need to give myself a really good and stern talking to; to scold it, scare it or coax it into behaving properly. Like the current Melbourne weather for the past few days, my mental state feels foggy.

My resolve at this moment is to work out at least some of the contributing factors that I may be able to control, like the amount of sleep I get, the exercise I should be getting and my diet. The rest will be more difficult.